Burning Bridges Light My Way

The brain and the mind

The balance ever so fine

I sit here wanting to write

But my hands are shaking 

My body in constant plight 

Try as I might 

I’m always fighting the good fight

Of eating enough food, 

Drinking enough water,

Never enough

Its thirst is insatiable 

Constant

Ever gnawing

Ever burning

Always hurting

Much like my Mind

Always hurting 

Ever burning 

Ever gnawing

Like a constant sawing in my brain

I have often wondered if I am insane

I always refrain 

From going down that road…

My familys inheritance 

A thick dark cloud of denial 

Constantly hovering

Above my mind 

How kind… of them to leave this 

Now its my time to deal with it 

I inhale that thick dark cloud 

Into my equally dark lungs

And I expel it

From my mind

And my body

You cannot hold me hostage

And force me to listen to your lies

They’re nothing but clouds to me now

And how you deal with that fact is not my problem

Although you will try to make it mine

I rely on the Goddess divine

She warned me at the age of three

That your dark cloud would guillotine me 

You claimed that the dream was Satan trying to get me

But thankfully I heeded her warning 

and I've been waring against your manipulation ever since. 

The fumes from all of your gaslighting are finally starting to dissipate 

And I acknowledge that this relief is only because I’m choosing not to participate.

At last my Brain and my Mind pick up three year old me in their arms

And we all wave goodbye to those days of old, soul ties snapping all around us.

We see you desperately trying to scurry up the last soul tie that remains 

Screaming out those same fumes we’re all so used to breathing.

Seething about what your flock will think, what would mom think?!

Three year old me points out the saw in my minds hand

And we all smile and nod simultaneously 

giggling with the possibility of being free.

The sawing has been going on for so long now

And you continued to cling to that same tie the entire time

Trying bribery with childhood favorites, 

promises of a better family,

But I’m immune to your fumes now. 

As the last membrane of that soul tie snaps 

I shout to the Goddess my praise and thanks 

I watched you fall

And wish I felt nothing at all

But as we all slowly meld back to one

Mind, Body and Me rebound

I thank the Goddess for the real family I’ve found.