6/28/2022 - Mammy I love you.

 

Lo-fi in my ears and sunshine outside

I am trying to match my vibes

But the black hole in my chest

Does not let me rest

I digress 

So I just sit in my stress

And try to focus on how I’m so blessed

To live in the US of A 

That’s somehow decided to burn itself to the stake

Over the topics of abortion, and rape

I hesitate;

 to debate with anyone who hasn’t read a book 

From start to finish since 7th grade

Still convinced this is Hades

I wade into the waters of souls

With the single goal

Of finding my Mom

Giving her the biggest hug

 without fear of breaking her anymore

My heart is sore 

Down to its core

I wish I could cry on this floor

But I can't seem to shed a tear

For fear that this is really the end

These are really the last days

But at least now when I die 

I’ll be greeted by my Mothers face.

My sadness is laced with hate

Of this world and everything in it

Except for the animals, bees and trees

She loved those,

They can stay in it

If I was the last one on earth 

I really don’t think I would mind.

Because even when people 

Are being kind

I don’t buy it, for fear 

That there’s always something behind it

But for her sake 

I’ll try not to fake my feelings

I’ll make you proud of my writing 

You always told me I was so good at

I understood that

You loved me despite our disagreements

And I’m so glad you came to love my partner 

Before you had to leave

I must admit I’m slightly relieved

You’re set free

Rest in Peace Gina Marie.

I love you Mammy.